This past week our little family went on our first official family vacation and had a blast.  Our goal was to plan activities our kids would enjoy and we tried to cater to their interests as much as possible.  Since they are 2 & 5 years old knowing what they like isn’t hard to figure out right now.  Our goal was to give them as much of our attention as we could as our lives stay pretty busy on a daily basis and we all just wanted to get away and reconnect.  As I watched them over those few short days I have to admit I was both pleased and dismayed all at the same time.  Let me explain. 

If you’re a parent you’ll understand what I’m talking about.  Parenthood is an extremely humbling experience.  Raising your kids can be difficult and frustrating yet extremely rewarding all at the same time.  I learned something very early our parenting journey and that is, watching our children is like looking in a mirror—and that scares me to death!!  Most who are reading this know that both of our children are adopted from birth.  I know there’s a lot of speculation out there about the ideal of nature vs. nurture.  [Simply stated there are many in the scientific world who question whether the environment a child is raised in or someone’s heredity (their DNA makeup) most impacts their development psychologically.]  It’s apparent by looking at my children they look nothing like us.  My wife and I both are ghostly white while our children both have beautiful olive complexions.  But when it comes to how they act/react……Lord help them both, they act JUST like us.  My daughter is me in female form while my son is a mix of both my wife and I.

On this little vacation we took I was able to watch their every move.  The ‘dismay’ I spoke of earlier came from the negative ways they would react to certain things.  A split second later it felt like I was getting a slap to the face as I realized, in the middle of fussing at them, they were reacting the EXACT same way they had saw me react in certain situations.  The way my daughter gets apprehensive and frustrated when she doesn’t know what to expect because she wants to be made aware of every detail….yeah, that’s me.  The way my son has to have the last word every time we’re fussing about something….yep…me too.  The way my daughter is hard-headed and wants things done her way, right then….me.  The way my son fakes bravery in situations where he’s unsure of himself…..you guessed it….me.  (you’ll have to get with my wife about the characteristics they have picked up from her because I’d prefer to stay out of trouble, ha!!!)

All my life I have heard Proverbs 22:6 which states, “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are older they won’t depart from it.”  The older I become and the older my children get the more I become aware of this fact and also a duel meaning that exists in this scripture (though I’m sure there may be more should someone choose to delve into it).  In example, our kids love to listen, sing along to, and worship with praise and worship music.  No doubt they love it because of the love they have seen their mother and I display toward it.  The bad habits they are forming, well, unfortunately, they’re picking up on that stuff too.  The book of Proverbs is filled to the brim with wisdom and this short verse is no different from the rest.  For years the ideal I have heard being portrayed by ministers is that of encouragement for the parent of the wayward or prodigal child.  And that is, if you have done your best to bring them up in a Godly manner you have to rely on God to bring them back to what they have been taught should they ever choose to turn their back on it.  Unfortunately, the same can be said of your negative actions.  If a man chooses to abuse his wife, not only is he teaching his son to hit a female but he’s also teaching his daughter she should expect to be hit thus leading them both down a dangerous road for their futures.  If I choose to raise my voice at my wife my son, no doubt, assumes it’s okay for him to do the same towards his mother or even his own future bride.

I cannot control how my children are going to live their lives once they leave my household but, as a parent, it is my job to teach them right from wrong in ALL aspects of life.  My son needs to know how to treat his future wife and that will come from watching me as he sees the interaction between his mother and I.  My daughter needs to learn how her husband should treat her, and that too will come from the very same interaction.  Parents—only YOU can choose how you are going to ‘train’ them.  You’re going to make mistakes—count on it.  But I want to encourage you today to take an inventory of how you’re raising your kids and ask God to help you make the proper adjustments.  I watched today as my son walked around the house in my shoes…..literally, in my shoes.  He did this for about 10 minutes.  Every so often he would fall because the shoes he was trying to fill were too big for his tiny feet.  All too soon his feet will be just as big as Daddy’s and he will then fill the very same shoes that were once too large.  My kids are following my every footstep. I need God’s help because, to me, it is a NECISSITY that I get this parenting thing right.  Not only will these traits be passed down to my children, but ultimately my grand’s and great-grand’s one day.

It’s never too late to make adjustments.  My kids are watching me and following my every footstep.  While I follow the footsteps of my own earth father I pray they will realize that I am attempting to follow in the footsteps of One who is much greater than my earthly father or me.  He is the ULTIMATE Father.  I won’t always get it right but I’m going to try to give my kids the best of me simply because they deserve it.  Your own children are following YOUR every footstep.  What do they see?  Whose footsteps are YOU following?