I have been in full time ministry for over 15 years.  Recently, I found myself reminiscing over those years.  Some things I came across, maybe the way I handled a certain issue that came up, I was somewhat pleased with.  At the same time there were other things, well, I was down-right embarrassed by.  In my defense (I roll my eyes as I even type those words ‘in my defense’), I was young and immature and still had a lot to learn.  I think the biggest change I have seen over the years is the way I build and maintain relationships.  There are certain people who have come into my life and maintaining a relationship with these folks–whether it be a friendship, confidant, mentoring, familial, minister to congregant, etc etc—has been easy.  While on the other side, there are some relationships I have had to work at.  Admittedly, in all of the relationships listed above (and even the ones I failed to list) any time I ran into someone who brought me stress or just mentally wore me out (you know what I’m talking about because we’ve ALL had ‘those’ people in our lives) I would avoid that person like they were carrying the plague.  It was easier to ignore them rather than invest time and effort that would most likely end in greater frustration on my part. 

I truly think the change in me came around that seventh or eighth year mark of being in full time ministry.  Truth be told, I underwent a mental/spiritual transition/transformation of my own which led to my eyes being opened.  Anyone who is a part of my inner circle knows my past and will tell you I was a handful to deal with at times (I know you all read this in shock, ha!).  Seriously, I had experienced a lot of hurt in my life which had led me to live in a way that truly prevented anyone from getting too close.  The ones I allowed to get close me would only hurt me in the end, or so I thought.  I was extremely mouthy and hard-headed (I know, another shocker—just stick with me J), could be mildly manipulative (though I attempted to do so secretly and became pretty successful with it), and so much more.  Those who were able to get into my inner circle loved me anyway.  They saw Brian for who he really was.  When I fussed and ran my mouth, they heard my hearts cry and hurts rather than the biting words I spewed.  When I pushed them away, they only pushed back and loved me even harder.  It was those relationships that can be credited for the transformation that has taken place in my life (though I can still be a little mouthy at time, lol). 

Those folks took the time to see through all the baggage and mess I carried.  They allowed me a place and a space to receive my healing from God free from judgment.  They gave me a swift but gentle kick to the backside when I needed it but loved me unconditionally regardless of my shortcomings.  Reminds of my/our Heavenly Father.  He knows how screwed up we are or even how screwed up we’ll become and He loves us anyway.  Even knowing this He sent His son anyway to pay the ultimate price.  Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  So…..I said all that to say this…..the next time you get the itch to label someone as a nuisance, pest or any number of negative names just…..stop!!  Take a moment and well…..open your eyes.  Try to listen with ears of love, mercy and compassion—hear the unsaid words BEYOND their complaints or grievances.  Rather than turning your back and running in the other direction, cover them in prayer.  I can tell you from experience the very people who use to drive you crazy, you’ll discover a love for them you didn’t know existed.  And realize, they may still tap dance on your last nerve from time to time– but your ability to have love and compassion for that person may be the very thing they need to receive healing from the hurts they carry.  Show them the same love God showed you.  Stop looking at people with your own eyes.  Use His eyes.  His vision is MUCH better!!